Just thinking about you, Nick. So cute, sweet and smart. Wow. I can't believe all the things you did, said and were. I'm so proud of Robert and all the people that made you who you were. "... you were", not "you are". Still can't grasp that. I ache for your parents - all FOUR of them (you lucky dog) - and your brother and sister the most. I know I'm saying nothing, but just wanted to say something. Thinking of all of you. Just.... I love you.

Nick is supposed to be swimming at the District Meet tonight. I'm sad that he won't be there.

It feels like just yesterday when we all went camping at lake Murray, or even a couple summers back at lake of the pines. I'll never forget taking Nick and Houston out on the jet skies or making up our on version of cranium. Wow that was an interesting game. He always knew how to make everyone laugh. There was also the time when both the boys came out to help with pumpkin patch. They both worked so hard, it really made the day go by so much quicker with them around to entertain us. Houston and Nick were both very mature for their age. I know my family was very blessed to have them around. We miss Nick more and more everyday. We love him as well as the rest of your loving family.

I think about you and those left behind daily. Sometimes, it's when I coming past the school, or past the highway, or when I see someone laughing over silly things. Not saying how sad I am for all of us does not make you less gone. My heart continues to break over the hole you've left in the lives of even those of us who were on the edges of it. To my kids and their friends, I find myself saying, "Be Safe, be smart, be careful, I love you." God gave us tears so that our heads won't explode, and laughter so that our bodies won't implode. We miss the joy that exuded from you! Yes! We want our lives back the way they were when we had you!

There's another small nugget that I'm going to share. One of the things that Nick said to me on this birthday was "Of course I'm cool, I'm related to you!". I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was cool in spite of being related to me! But, you know, whatever. At the risk of sounding a bit cheesy, I think that I'm just a little bit cooler because I was his cousin. I will cherish that memory forever....

A father of six struck on I-35. A 12-year-old girl in Houston critically injured while playing on a slow-moving freight train. I suppose headlines like this were on the news pretty frequently all along, but it's different now, isn't it? And I never realized how many television dramas involve pedestrians struck by automobiles. It seems that each of these television scenes or news headlines comes with no warning at all, just like that day. Are you guys encountering these things, too. Aren't they just devastating? Anyway, we have never ceased to pray for you guys. Jim (our five-year-old) asks to pray for you regularly. He seems to be improving: Fewer nightmares, less sleepwalking, fewer questions. We're thankful for that, but even in the midst of seeing my son recover from the trauma of that day, I think about you and your son and my heart breaks anew.

I'm writing about the last time I talked to Nick. It was his 14th birthday and he came out to meet me at my car. I still remember being surprised about how tall he'd gotten and his voice had gotten deeper. The little boy I helped look after was growing into a wonderful young man! But in the later years we weren't as close, but I really wanted to go and see him. I had be there awhile and noticed that Nick was sitting at the computer(surprise, surprise!). Well, I took the opportunity to talk to him and bond with him more. I treasure that more than anything now, because i would have lost the last chance to ever talk to him. I talk to people more because of this. he was just so smart and so funny. He was showing me this website with cats doing silly things and I can't go back to that website. It makes me too sad. They say time helps with loss. Well, that's not entirely true. At first, the shock kind of shelters you and you don't really face what's happening. Then some time goes by and it gets worse. The shock wears off and you then really know that the person you love really, really isn't coming back. It is the toughest thing you, I go through. The more time that goes by the more I miss him. The more he's missing. The more time I'm going to miss seeing him become the caring young man he was going to be. I know intellectually that death is a part of life. But my heart doesn't know that....Robert I can't even FATHOM what you must be going through. You had done such a great job with him and he couldn't have asked for a better or a more loving father than you. I saw the bond you guys had early on. This is just not right you have to go through this. I want him back to.

On the way back from errands today I drove past the park behind my house. I saw a boy running in the park. I so vividly remember Nick getting out of the car on the way home from school, running at top speed across the park to my house. His quest was to get to the edge of the alley before I could push the remote to open the garage door. He wanted to do it. I pulled into the garage and sat in the car crying wanting it to all be a very bad dream. I so miss him.

When my husband entered my life 5 1/2 years ago, Nick had reached a point where he played with his friends and brother more than his aunt more often than not. As a result, Bryan never had the chance for one-on-one interaction with Nick until the summer before last. In August 2007, our family took a cruise and on that trip, Bryan finally had the chance to chat with Houston and Nick. He'd go down for breakfast or lunch without me and when the boys ran into him, they'd join him. He commented that it was the first time he'd had a chance to hang out with them on his own and how much it meant to him. Then, when Robert, Katherine, Nick, Bryan and I went snorkeling in Cozumel, Bryan and Nick spent the trip there and back on the top floor of the boat on their own. I was so happy that my husband had finally had a chance to bond with my lovely nephew and get to know some of his quirkiness that made him so beloved to me. I'm so happy that we took the time out of our lives to have such a great family trip and that it helped cement our already strong family bonds, and I'm glad that Nick was a part of that. I still miss him every day, but I try to treasure every little memory as it surfaces.

The District swimming & diving meet is next week. The team is having a spaghetti dinner Monday night. Nick was supposed to be there.

AC/DC will be performing in Dallas in about 20 hours. Nick and Houston were going to see the show in San Antonio on December 12th. It was their one big Christmas gift from us this year. I've seen this band in concert more than any other big-name arena caliber band, and both boys were really looking forward to the show. Nick Died about 30 hours before the concert was scheduled to begin. I am sad that Nick didn't get to see one of my favorite bands in concert. I am also sad that Houston didn't get to see the show. I want my family back to the way it was. I want my boy back.

Earlier this week, I passed the site where I last heard Nick's voice on the phone. I was with clients at the time, so I held back most of my emotions. After I got home that evening, the emotions just started pouring out. My son is gone. Though the phone call happened perhaps 10 or 15 minutes before his death, I remember it as if it were just a few hours ago. Now, it is a good day and a half after I passed by the location of that phone call, and I am still physically hurting from the memories.

I will never forget the last words Nick and I spoke on that day. I was heading to the weight room when I saw him and Nathan waiting outside. He did our trademarked handshake, and as our tradition went we always said "Rock On, Bro" and the end of mostly everything we said to eachother. Im glad I got to become great friends with Nick over the past 2 and a half years. One of my memories of Nick that still haunts me is when Nick use to see me in the hallway he would always yell at the top of his lungs "Hey Tay-Tay." Every now and then i still believe I'm gonna hear that fun-loving voice. But that day has yet to come. I know everyday is hard, but today, has been extremely hard on me. I know that there is not a day gone by when Nick is not missed. "Rock On, Bro"

Even though I did not know Nicholas as a teenager, I knew him briefly as a boy. My daughter, Sofia, who is now 5, played with him and his brother while Katherine and us girlfriends enjoyed lunch and conversation. Both Nicholas and Houston entertained Sofia beautifully and took care of her as if this toddler was their own sister. I recently told Sofia what happened to Nicholas and she simply said "Mommy, a boy is not supposed to die so young and especially not before his own mommy." She remembers his kindness, too. I mourn for Katherine and Robert and Houston's loss in their family life and I hope you can find some strength together. We love you guys.

I also remember how obsessive over music in any shape or form Nick was. He loooved the drums, so very much, and talked about his excitement and passion for them all the time. I never got to hear him play, but he always talked about getting a smoke machine and starting a band with Nathan. He also really loved Dragonforce and ACDC and RUSH and System Of A Down and Weird Al. He knew all the words to every single song written by the last one. I can also recall another recent event with him, where he decided to wear his speedo to school under his pants. Specifically in Mr. Ham's class, when Mr. Ham wasn't looking, he'd pull down his pants and show off his glorious speedo. He was undoubtedly proud of it, and the look on his face as he showed it off was priceless - and as were the reactions. I also remember always calling him Scott instead of Nick. I only started calling him Nick recently, as I'll always remember him as Mister Scott Froggs, a name he was given in GT way back in Elementary. My incredible sympathy to Nick's Mom, Nick's Dad, and Houston. My heart goes out to you three, to his family, and to everyone who had the pleasure of knowing such a marvelous, bright, charming young man. R.I.P, Nick, we really do miss you, so very much. Your absence is incredibly notable.